For many of us thirty somethings whom are lucky enough to be in a loving relationship, tinder has passed us by. It is merely something we hear our single friends talk about or overhear people discussing their various successes, but mostly their nightmare hook-ups, when we are on public transport of people watching in coffee shops. What the hell is swipe left!!!!
As someone on the outside looking in, I assumed this app is full of beautiful young people playing a huge game of hide the sausage, a depraved form of being able to bang without having to put yourself out there, and yes I was jealous and curious of this new form of "dating".
The missus and I have often had this conversation, maybe you have had the same?
"I reckon if I had tinder I would get loads more action than you!"
Well let me tell you, unless you are the attractive young female blonde of the partnership, you are destined to lose this bet.
We're in the pub on Saturday and start discussing this with friends (all but one in their thirties and oblivious to the dark arts tinder). Our one friends, who is on tinder, stressed how it's not a fun form of dating or meeting people, and generally is a dark corner of the web, where "men" and "boys" can say anything free of the potential slap or pint being thrown in their face. Bollocks we thought, surely you are just doing it wrong.
So the bet began, my girlfriend and I both downloaded it, set up a very minimal profile. Within minutes, al (my gf) was contacted by a guy called Brendon. Within 1 message he was onto discussing how to give her carpet burns. Solid game Brendon. She received 10 messages within a couple of hours, most of which involved great opening lines in various penis related diatribe. No dick pics though, so kudos on that one men of Perth.
In comparison, over to me and I had 2 'bites' from what appeared to be genuine nice women who were looking to meet a fella. Obviously they didn't reply after I sent them an obligatory dick pic and a well crafted opening line "you slaaaaag, you love it".
What I conclude is that tinder is full of horny young men, quick to make statements that they wouldn't dream of saying to a girls face. Now I'm sure they do get success but this is a pure numbers game for guys, eventually, actually probably relatively quickly, they will find a girl who is DTF. On other hand it appears that single women on tinder get the actual worst of the worst of male specimens to sift through, to separate the wheat from the chaff must be a task in itself.
Tinder deleted. Although the missus is on her phone a lot and spending more time at the "gym" these days,
love n stuff
Drewski @ designuntapped