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Top Trumps - Australia, the UK and the USAs obsession with MKR, Footy and Donald Trump

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Top Trumps - Australia, the UK and the USAs obsession with MKR, Footy and Donald Trump

Andy Fawcett

So as darkness falls here in Australia and as it follows into the UK and USA. These three great nations each approach key dates and popularity contests in their respective calendars.

The Australian Popularity Contest - MKR

Here in Oz there is a luke warm buzz surrounding My Kitchen Rules or MKR for short. A cooking competition that pits teams of two against each other, judged by a frenchman and what can only  be described as a paleo walking baked bean. A man that is both the colour of rich mahogany and with the teeth of Ross in "The One where Ross gets really white teeth" (you know the one).  This show starts and then continues for an eternity, ramming advertisement after advertisement down the throats of all who watch it. Last year i watched with great excitement and was carried away with the buzz, 17 weeks later the first couple were voted out after being saved by 15 cook offs and last chance bonus rounds. The winner of last years show is due to be announced in 2019. This season of MKR introduces a whole new group of wannabe chefs, next year another 20 people will be introduced and in 2022 all the members of MKR will join with the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Avengers to defeat Thanos who wields the most powerful Flybys card (the equivilent of a Tesco Club Card or Wallmart card) your could ever imagine. Over 3million flybuys points, enough to buy an Ipad or the final infinity stone. It's gonna be an epic.

The US High Stakes Popularity Contest and How I Fear for a World under Emperor Donald Trump

Meanwhile on the other side of the world the Ioha  Caucus has the attention of the nation, and this time the world.  I am fearful that Mr Trump, a man who sounds like something you do in the bath when you think no-one is around, will become the spearhead of one of the most powerful nations in the world.  Mr Trump or Big D to his friends, promises to buy a new wig should he be voted in, this wig will be muslim free and only made with the fibres of purebread all americans, not native ones, the ones that were immigrants.  Rumours that he will ban Mudbloods from entering the US remain unconfirmed. Donald Trump looks like the personification of arrogance and smugness combined, and every time he smiles I am terrified that the reverse butterfly effect  is directly responsible for giving me Migraines. The terrifying fact is he may actually win the competition for the American Presidency.  President Trump, King NobHead. I am terrified of this and can only hope that the intelligent folk in America will do the right thing and vote for .......bern.........hillary...........erm..............Monty Brewster. Yes that is the answer.  The only saving grace is that as i understand it he will not be able to pass any of the proposed "Laws" his campaign stands for as they will be thrown out of the senate as unlawful diatribe proposed by a racist madman.

donald-trump-top-trumps-hand-holding trump

Good Old Blightys Annual Obsession with Transfer Deadline Day

Now across the pond to what is genuinely one of the only days that makes me homesick. Transfer Deadline Day, now for those of you not familiar with United Kingdom SoccerBall Superbowl, all clubs in the English Premier League have until 23.00hours to make any signings for the remainder of the season. Clubs panic buy and they are stuck with random hasbeens on ginormous wages. But the very best thing about transfer deadline day is that SkySports make an abundance of news reporters stand outside football grounds with a camera crew on the off chance that the next superstar turns up at that club. Considering it is the middle of winter in the UK, you would think that the reporters would be on their own. Oh no, the educated masses also go out in gangs of one and two, to make masterbation mimes behind the reporters heads or, as occurred last year, slap the news reporter with a purple dildo. Don't believe me, take a look at the video below.

The guy doesn't flinch, what a pro.

So you see we aren't that different America, UK and Australia, we all have our obsessions and our important popularity contests. Now if only an australian novice cook could cook Fubu for the presendential inaaguartion or if only a football fan could find it in his heart to slap Mr Trump with a giant purple dildo then my faith in humanity will be restored.

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Dreski @ DesignUntapped.